Friday, May 26, 2006
yesterday is the end of my misery... yet is the start of another round of misery...
the last paper is so sucky.. the questions r broad and there r a few with hidden theory.. wat i'm confident at didnt come out eventually.. wat i had memorised were being forgotten.. wat i had remembered were being confused.. time for mi to finish the paper thoroughly wasnt enough.. wat the hell is wrong with mi!! i feel so sick now...
can anyone tell mi how to memo things well n not to confuse them when there was a hell lot of things -a yr syllabus- to get into ur head? can anyone tell mi how to write 4 essays within 3 hrs?? can anyone tell mi how write fast and think fast at the same time??? mayb i'm just way too stupid.. i'm unable to do wat the others can... ended up affected my thinking.. which affected my writing speed.. which made mi handing up an uncomplete paper...
mayb becos i wasnt at my best condition yest... ya i was feeling dizzy in the exam hall.. n ya i was having serious flu n a bit of feverish on the 2 days before my exams.. mayb i was too nervous n scare throughout the whole exam... so nervous n scare that i couldnt breathe well n make any proper thinking when doing the questions.. all these r excuses!! i'm jus being useless n stupid.. cant even handle an exam that most ppl could...
i got a feeling tat i will fail the last paper.. ya.. to pass the paper.. u nid to get 35 out of 100.. u might think is easy to pass.. ya is true.. when u got ample time to prepare.. when u r able to write 4 essays relevantly within 3 hrs.. or mayb to get a pass.. have a full focus on 2 essays.. for mi.. i'm jus unable to do it.. i dun understand how come others can do it.. pass their papers or even score in it.. this explained again my uselessness? now i understand how come the passing mark is so low..
i dun wan to retake!! firstly.. it is so expensive.. i will need to get a job asap n forsake my shopping hobby.. secondly i'm afraid of that subject.. i will puke.. i will have nightmares.. i will suffer for a yr again if i'm going to retake it... n i'm afraid that the history will repeat itself again.. jus like my a levels.. ended up wasting my time n money.. this again shows that i'm useless.. especially in this area.. where i jus couldnt get better results...
i wasnt like tat in the past.. WHYYYYY?? ever since the years after my o levels.. my results r falling.. this shows that i'm getting more stupid? or is it becos of the problem i'm having now.. i'm starting to get suspicious over it.. i did some researcher on tat problem before.. it says it will affect my concentration n make mi fatigue easily n make mi feel dizzy.. but since when did i got this problem? haiz.. jus wat's wrong with my brain n my body? so sick n tired of myself n my life.. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................
Labels: exams + results
12:53 am
